Tuesday, June 07, 2016

I'm going to go off on a weird tangent, but it's late, I've taken pain meds and allergy pills and here goes.

I'm watching Game of Thrones and I just started watching Season five. I know people age, but it does seem to me that everyone looks different. No, not everyone, but a lot of them. Shrug. I'm oblivious at times to how people change. Sometimes I look up from whatever I've been working on and wonder how I got to be forty years old.

The first time I watched this season, I thought Melisandre was played by someone else. She looked just different enough to be different.  I've thought that about a few people this season.  Maybe it's that Game of Thrones got more money.  Maybe it's that everyone is dressing differently.  Maybe it's the tone of the show.  

Except.

I do this in real life too.  I rarely recognize people I haven't seen in a while.  Suddenly they've gotten older, or old, and they look totally different.  Family reunions are crazy for me - everyone remembers me, and I have no clue who they are.  Did I go to the wrong reunion?  Maybe I'm on the Truman Show and they changed actors (or actresses) in-between seasons. 

Yeah, yeah, I know this is my first post in a while.  I haven't written here because there hasn't been much to say and then, when there was, there was no excuse for not writing earlier.  No, I'm not dead.  I've been sick, got better, got sick, got better, got sick, got better, and the whole time I've been in pain.  That about sums up my life since I wrote last.  Add in allergies and you cover all of my health issues that I know of.

Family drama, personal drama, life trauma, and so on.  Never a dull moment for me, but there is plenty of down time.  I used to think I was a strong person, capable of handling what life gave me.  The month of Hell, followed a year later by my Mother's death changed all that.  It doesn't take much for me to melt down for months at a time.  

And so, nothing has happened.  No writing, or significant amounts anyway, no drawing, singing, poetry, acting, dancing, jumping, or skipping.  And I can't whistle and never really learned how to swim.

I don't promise to write a lot now, but since the seal is broken, maybe I'll write more.  I promise nothing.  Sorry.  Life is what it is.  And what it is not.

- Jim