Ever since I went to the hospital at the end of July, my back has been in terrible pain, made worse by sleeping. I don't know what I do in my sleep or who's been beating me unconscious, but it's been pretty close to hell. The good news is that the back pain is bad enough that I often don't feel my knee pain. Okay, it's not good news. The knee pain is still there, it's just overshadowed. I'm sure if I were stabbed or shot, I wouldn't feel my back. Somehow it seems like that escalation would quickly get out of hand.
The good news is that it's keeping at my desk more and working on more desk related things. I'm doing more reading, more watching stuff on my ever-full DVR, and even writing. It's crazy. I do have to give up my computer from time to time so my nephew can play StarCraft II, but I don't mind too much. If my back didn't hurt, I probably wouldn't mind at all.
Anyway, that's about it. Little new save the ever-increasing back pain. I have some ideas to deal with it, but those will take time. Hopefully by the next post, I'll have some improvement to report.
- Jim
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
One of my nephews has been spending more time with me lately. His family is living with mine for a variety of reasons. He's eleven, and not much into the more scholarly pursuits I often attempt. So, I've been spending time playing computer games with him and letting him play those games on my computer.
Yeah, I finally got into playing StarCraft II. Not a game I would have thought I'd be playing for a while, but it's entertaining. It's not that I don't like the StarCraft story - I've been playing the original game since 2001, but I intensely dislike games that force me to play online, on their servers. What's going to happen when Blizzard goes under or ceases to support the game? I can always play the original game, so long as I have a computer that will play it. The sequel on the other hand has limited offline features and doesn't allow progress in much. In short, there's little point to play offline at all.
No LAN games. I'll admit, it's not a big deal. I don't often like playing with other people anyway, but it would be nice to play with my nephew. One more thing - my nephew and I can create separate game accounts on the original game and play for the original price. Not so with StarCraft II - too bad, so sad. If he wants to play the full game, he has to fork over the money to do so.
Or his uncle has to.
- Jim
Yeah, I finally got into playing StarCraft II. Not a game I would have thought I'd be playing for a while, but it's entertaining. It's not that I don't like the StarCraft story - I've been playing the original game since 2001, but I intensely dislike games that force me to play online, on their servers. What's going to happen when Blizzard goes under or ceases to support the game? I can always play the original game, so long as I have a computer that will play it. The sequel on the other hand has limited offline features and doesn't allow progress in much. In short, there's little point to play offline at all.
No LAN games. I'll admit, it's not a big deal. I don't often like playing with other people anyway, but it would be nice to play with my nephew. One more thing - my nephew and I can create separate game accounts on the original game and play for the original price. Not so with StarCraft II - too bad, so sad. If he wants to play the full game, he has to fork over the money to do so.
Or his uncle has to.
- Jim
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Sorry about the wait. I'm alive. I spent a long time recovering from being in the hospital. It's weird, because it was just me being sick - nothing was broken or protruding from anything important, just sick. Kinda like your mind, after you read the word protruding.
Okay, probably not that sick. But pretty sick. When I got back, I was beat up, sore, sick, and suffering from all the side effects of medication. I'm alive, but I really don't want to go through that again.
Work is slowly picking up. I spent a lot more time being broken. I'm not sure what to do about it. It doesn't seem like anything I try is helping. I'm not sick, but I'm certainly not the same person I was before I went in the hospital. Even then I was no prime example of human prowess... but now... fuhgetaboutit.
There isn't much of a plan at the moment. Get better, get these projects done, find something else to occupy my time. It won't be hard. I have enough stuff to keep me occupied until the end of creation at the rate I'm going through it. We'll see. Maybe it's something I was never meant to do.
- Jim
Okay, probably not that sick. But pretty sick. When I got back, I was beat up, sore, sick, and suffering from all the side effects of medication. I'm alive, but I really don't want to go through that again.
Work is slowly picking up. I spent a lot more time being broken. I'm not sure what to do about it. It doesn't seem like anything I try is helping. I'm not sick, but I'm certainly not the same person I was before I went in the hospital. Even then I was no prime example of human prowess... but now... fuhgetaboutit.
There isn't much of a plan at the moment. Get better, get these projects done, find something else to occupy my time. It won't be hard. I have enough stuff to keep me occupied until the end of creation at the rate I'm going through it. We'll see. Maybe it's something I was never meant to do.
- Jim
Friday, August 23, 2013
Okay, first of all, I apologize. It's been too long since I've written, but much has happened. I certainly had time to write during much of it, but no access to any sort of computer or internet.
On the morning of the 17th, I got really sick again and went to the hospital. I'd like to say it was nothing major, but it was. Especially worrying was that it happened so soon after the last time. This time they tried a longer treatment that was similar to the first except it was less medicine over a longer period of time. I got out of the hospital late Wednesday afternoon and then spent the next two days recovering and sleeping.
Oddly enough, hospitals aren't for sleeping much.
That being said, I'm otherwise fine. I did spend five days without either my computer or internet though, so I'll probably need therapy for years. I never buy a laptop because a laptop generally can't do the things I ask of my desktop. I really don't go anywhere either, except when I do. Ooops.
Anyway, work stopped, writing stopped, reading essentially stopped. I barely even watched television. I'm nearly caught up on the whole "going out of my mind from boredom", though.
Anyway, now there's lots to catch up on. So, I'll try to write soon, but it probably won't be soon enough.
- Jim
On the morning of the 17th, I got really sick again and went to the hospital. I'd like to say it was nothing major, but it was. Especially worrying was that it happened so soon after the last time. This time they tried a longer treatment that was similar to the first except it was less medicine over a longer period of time. I got out of the hospital late Wednesday afternoon and then spent the next two days recovering and sleeping.
Oddly enough, hospitals aren't for sleeping much.
That being said, I'm otherwise fine. I did spend five days without either my computer or internet though, so I'll probably need therapy for years. I never buy a laptop because a laptop generally can't do the things I ask of my desktop. I really don't go anywhere either, except when I do. Ooops.
Anyway, work stopped, writing stopped, reading essentially stopped. I barely even watched television. I'm nearly caught up on the whole "going out of my mind from boredom", though.
Anyway, now there's lots to catch up on. So, I'll try to write soon, but it probably won't be soon enough.
- Jim
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
As usual, it's been an interesting few weeks.
First of all, my recovery from the hospital has been mostly good. I don't feel like working as much though, so my output has suffered. Still, I'm healthier and that improves output a bit.
Did I say healthier?
We live in a house that is well over a hundred years old. The house was invented before they realized you had to close it off from the elements in order to be a house. As a result, there are a thousand nooks and crannies and every now and then - usually a couple times a year, we get bats in the house. When I was a child, we would just capture the thing with a string fishing net and take it outside. The net gradually fell apart and we don't fish enough to bother getting a new one. So, I have big work gloves that I put on and I use a towel or an old t-shirt to capture one. We had one on Thursday, I think, last week. I put the gloves on, grabbed a t-shirt, put it over the bat and carried it outside.
On Saturday, we had another one. This one was in a nook and the t-shirt thing wouldn't work. So, using the work gloves, I picked the thing up and carried it outside. The gloves were designed to be used at work and the backs are just fabric, in order to allow the hands to sweat and breathe. The bat, in just the right position at just the right time chewed on the glove. It wasn't enough to break skin, but may have been enough to scratch it.
Sigh.
So, I had to start a rabies treatment. Despite what you hear on television, it's not gotten better with time. A dozen shots on Sunday morning at the ER followed by something like six more hospital visits. I'm not exaggerating either - a dozen shots. Two in the affected thumb, three in each arm, two right above each knee. Sheesh.
At least I'm getting fresh air.
- Jim
First of all, my recovery from the hospital has been mostly good. I don't feel like working as much though, so my output has suffered. Still, I'm healthier and that improves output a bit.
Did I say healthier?
We live in a house that is well over a hundred years old. The house was invented before they realized you had to close it off from the elements in order to be a house. As a result, there are a thousand nooks and crannies and every now and then - usually a couple times a year, we get bats in the house. When I was a child, we would just capture the thing with a string fishing net and take it outside. The net gradually fell apart and we don't fish enough to bother getting a new one. So, I have big work gloves that I put on and I use a towel or an old t-shirt to capture one. We had one on Thursday, I think, last week. I put the gloves on, grabbed a t-shirt, put it over the bat and carried it outside.
On Saturday, we had another one. This one was in a nook and the t-shirt thing wouldn't work. So, using the work gloves, I picked the thing up and carried it outside. The gloves were designed to be used at work and the backs are just fabric, in order to allow the hands to sweat and breathe. The bat, in just the right position at just the right time chewed on the glove. It wasn't enough to break skin, but may have been enough to scratch it.
Sigh.
So, I had to start a rabies treatment. Despite what you hear on television, it's not gotten better with time. A dozen shots on Sunday morning at the ER followed by something like six more hospital visits. I'm not exaggerating either - a dozen shots. Two in the affected thumb, three in each arm, two right above each knee. Sheesh.
At least I'm getting fresh air.
- Jim
Monday, August 12, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
I hate to bring it up again, but it's been a month since I was in the hospital, give or take a few days. I really don't remember.
A month. I was only in there for a couple days and I was only sick for a few more days.
Ever since then, I have been in pain, everywhere. My knees always hurt, but this hurt is different. Still, it's my knees. They regularly find new ways to hurt me. Since then my back has hurt every day, my neck has a knot or something in it, my shoulder hurts, and even my wrist hurts from time to time. I was pretty out of it, but I'm pretty sure I would have noticed the nurses beating me with sticks if they'd done it that badly.
Plus, I'm pretty sure I would bruise more.
So, honestly, I have no idea. I am still working on being more active, but it's far, far less than I've planned.
Work too has been problematic. The drive I had before has been replaced by nothing at all. I was hard pressed to call what I did before, "work". Now, now it's just a step or two above comatose. I can't even brag I spend the time playing games.
- Jim
A month. I was only in there for a couple days and I was only sick for a few more days.
Ever since then, I have been in pain, everywhere. My knees always hurt, but this hurt is different. Still, it's my knees. They regularly find new ways to hurt me. Since then my back has hurt every day, my neck has a knot or something in it, my shoulder hurts, and even my wrist hurts from time to time. I was pretty out of it, but I'm pretty sure I would have noticed the nurses beating me with sticks if they'd done it that badly.
Plus, I'm pretty sure I would bruise more.
So, honestly, I have no idea. I am still working on being more active, but it's far, far less than I've planned.
Work too has been problematic. The drive I had before has been replaced by nothing at all. I was hard pressed to call what I did before, "work". Now, now it's just a step or two above comatose. I can't even brag I spend the time playing games.
- Jim
Monday, July 22, 2013
I have two DVR machines from Charter Communications. I know this isn't an issue with just one, but both.
For some unknown reason, they updated the software remotely on both machines so that you can no longer press 0-3-2 to go to channel 32, but rather you MUST press 3-2-ENTER instead. Before, you could do it both ways. Now, you must do it the latter way.
I'm going to be honest, this is an annoyance with me. Worse, I cannot for the life of me figure out WHY they did it, except to piss me the hell off. It's not like it makes it easier. The 0 button is with all the other number buttons, right next to each other. The enter key is six inches away, far enough that unless you're using the remote two-handed, it'll often go to that channel on its own.
The only thing I can think of is the QWERTY excuse. Most of our keyboard placement comes from a typewriter design created by a guy named Christopher Sholes who deliberately arranged the letters in such a way as to slow down the typists and eliminate or reduce key jamming. Similarly, my guess is that they do this to slow down channel surfing, though they still have the channel up-down button. Shrug. Okay, I admit, I don't get it. I really really don't.
- Jim
Update: You can type 0-3-2 to change the channels you're watching, just not when you're changing channels in the channel guide which makes even less sense than it did before.
For some unknown reason, they updated the software remotely on both machines so that you can no longer press 0-3-2 to go to channel 32, but rather you MUST press 3-2-ENTER instead. Before, you could do it both ways. Now, you must do it the latter way.
I'm going to be honest, this is an annoyance with me. Worse, I cannot for the life of me figure out WHY they did it, except to piss me the hell off. It's not like it makes it easier. The 0 button is with all the other number buttons, right next to each other. The enter key is six inches away, far enough that unless you're using the remote two-handed, it'll often go to that channel on its own.
The only thing I can think of is the QWERTY excuse. Most of our keyboard placement comes from a typewriter design created by a guy named Christopher Sholes who deliberately arranged the letters in such a way as to slow down the typists and eliminate or reduce key jamming. Similarly, my guess is that they do this to slow down channel surfing, though they still have the channel up-down button. Shrug. Okay, I admit, I don't get it. I really really don't.
- Jim
Update: You can type 0-3-2 to change the channels you're watching, just not when you're changing channels in the channel guide which makes even less sense than it did before.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
This isn't really new, but we have dogs now that are more sensitive to heat. The upper Midwest is currently baking in a heat and humidity wave. For those reasons, and because I am still somewhat recovering from my recent adventures, Seti@home doesn't run much.
My house was never designed for such things as weather, electronics, the 20th century (let alone the 21st Century), or air conditioning. I can compensate, but there really is no airflow. Air movement seeps rather than flows anywhere. Because of the poor dogs, I've cut down on everything that produces heat as much as possible. No television during the afternoons, computers mostly off, and so forth. It's a pain, but they seem to appreciate it.
Anyway, it'll be like that for a few days and then we'll go back to regular summer work. We'll still be sensitive to heat, of course, but it won't be nearly as bad.
- Jim
My house was never designed for such things as weather, electronics, the 20th century (let alone the 21st Century), or air conditioning. I can compensate, but there really is no airflow. Air movement seeps rather than flows anywhere. Because of the poor dogs, I've cut down on everything that produces heat as much as possible. No television during the afternoons, computers mostly off, and so forth. It's a pain, but they seem to appreciate it.
Anyway, it'll be like that for a few days and then we'll go back to regular summer work. We'll still be sensitive to heat, of course, but it won't be nearly as bad.
- Jim
Monday, July 08, 2013
My recovery is proceeding. The worst of it was over relatively quickly. It's the last twenty percent or so that seems to be slow - It's not really, but it just seems that way.
I do admit that I am spending less time working. Disruptions like that are always like that. The projects I do are always pretty intense and when I can't do them as intensely, I tend to lose focus and drift for a while. Even when I got back home from the hospital, my ability to work the way I wanted to was limited.
But, things are getting back to normal. They're not quite there yet, but they're a lot closer than they were. I'm also more cognizant of what led to my hospitalization and I've been spending more time in efforts to prevent future recurrences. That's a process that's not complete, but it's moving along.
In short, there have been some significant shifts in how I do things, but there aren't really any new things I'm working on. Still digging through the piles of reading material I've accumulated over the years. Writing has dwindled a bit - I found it impossible to write anything in the hospital, but it's slowly recovering as well.
- Jim
I do admit that I am spending less time working. Disruptions like that are always like that. The projects I do are always pretty intense and when I can't do them as intensely, I tend to lose focus and drift for a while. Even when I got back home from the hospital, my ability to work the way I wanted to was limited.
But, things are getting back to normal. They're not quite there yet, but they're a lot closer than they were. I'm also more cognizant of what led to my hospitalization and I've been spending more time in efforts to prevent future recurrences. That's a process that's not complete, but it's moving along.
In short, there have been some significant shifts in how I do things, but there aren't really any new things I'm working on. Still digging through the piles of reading material I've accumulated over the years. Writing has dwindled a bit - I found it impossible to write anything in the hospital, but it's slowly recovering as well.
- Jim
Sunday, June 30, 2013
An exciting week.
I went outside in my socks a couple weeks ago and managed to step on something. We thought it was a cactus needle, but it may have been some kind of thorn. It took us a while to find it though and get it out. It was mildy infected, but we cleaned it up and it seemed good.
Until it wasn't.
Blah blah ambulance got called blah blah kept me in the hospital for two days. I'm fine now.
Anyway, uh yeah. I haven't done anything since Thursday except be sick and sleep. Oh, I did finish a magazine, but it ended up taking me something like three days.
So, that's about it. Just figured I should let everyone know I'm back home.
- Jim
I went outside in my socks a couple weeks ago and managed to step on something. We thought it was a cactus needle, but it may have been some kind of thorn. It took us a while to find it though and get it out. It was mildy infected, but we cleaned it up and it seemed good.
Until it wasn't.
Blah blah ambulance got called blah blah kept me in the hospital for two days. I'm fine now.
Anyway, uh yeah. I haven't done anything since Thursday except be sick and sleep. Oh, I did finish a magazine, but it ended up taking me something like three days.
So, that's about it. Just figured I should let everyone know I'm back home.
- Jim
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
This is going to be difficult to explain because the concept is pretty subtle, or at least it seems that way at first glance. I've been writing or trying to write for years now - decades even. The start date isn't exact because of shifting goals and all that, but suffice to say, it's been a long time.
It's not over yet.
But, things are moving a lot quicker now, and not just in the writing aspect. In the past, I would sit at my desk for hours, working hard, but not getting ahead. To some degree, that still happens, but I think I've figured out how to better manage my time. Again, there is always room for improvement. Still, I'm managing to get things done and get things moving. Writing will always be an inexact science, but other metrics are more easily tracked.
It's amazing how I can write so much and not actually say anything. I can't be really specific - I could say I read fifty pages today or something and it would mean I read fifty pages. Writing fifty pages can mean you wrote on fifty pieces of paper (or its digital counterpart) but kept only three. Then there is the way I write - notes and appendices and ideas and scribbles and maps and blah blah blah. I'm sure there's a quicker way to do it, but that's not the way I can work.
Still, I can say this - I'm actually getting things done. Not just writing, and not just the magazine goal that I've been working on. It's small, incremental improvements, but it ends up being a lot bigger over time.
Anyway, I hope to have something publishable soon.
- Jim
It's not over yet.
But, things are moving a lot quicker now, and not just in the writing aspect. In the past, I would sit at my desk for hours, working hard, but not getting ahead. To some degree, that still happens, but I think I've figured out how to better manage my time. Again, there is always room for improvement. Still, I'm managing to get things done and get things moving. Writing will always be an inexact science, but other metrics are more easily tracked.
It's amazing how I can write so much and not actually say anything. I can't be really specific - I could say I read fifty pages today or something and it would mean I read fifty pages. Writing fifty pages can mean you wrote on fifty pieces of paper (or its digital counterpart) but kept only three. Then there is the way I write - notes and appendices and ideas and scribbles and maps and blah blah blah. I'm sure there's a quicker way to do it, but that's not the way I can work.
Still, I can say this - I'm actually getting things done. Not just writing, and not just the magazine goal that I've been working on. It's small, incremental improvements, but it ends up being a lot bigger over time.
Anyway, I hope to have something publishable soon.
- Jim
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Some things stick with me for a lot longer than they should. Some criticisms can stick with me for years.
Anyway, that got me to thinking about the time I'm wasting even now. It's no secret I've been behind schedule for everything I'm working on now. And so, I've been working to catch up on things. Not kinda working, not sorta working, but trying to spend every moment I have toward that goal. None of these projects are Earth-shattering, and that's the problem - I've treated them that way for years and failed to spend the time on them that I should have.
And yeah, a large portion of this is about that pile of unread magazines. It just bugs the hell out of me. But at the same time, I was at the point where I realized it was unlikely that I would be able to catch up on all of them by the end of the summer. It was an optimistic goal (considering my history) when I started, but it soon became clear that it would be impossible.
I'm not going to blame all of this on that article, but the article did its share of making me think about these things. And so, for me, I've been working at hyperspeed, getting these things done - without changing the rules I've made for myself. I can't skip articles - I have to read the magazines cover to cover. I have to actually read them, which means comprehension. I may not remember every name (I won't; I'm horrible with names), but I will understand what and why and how. Or as much as the article allows me to do so.
Magazines aren't my only project, but I'm working harder on that one than others at the moment. Sadly, after the larger-than-normal effort of the past couple weeks, there are still 58 magazines to go.
One more thing - I am a hoarder. I still have unread magazines older than that from when I was in college or when I was working full time. While deep down, those bug me as well, they don't bug me nearly as much. I had other things to do that took up a huge percentage of my waking hours. Indeed, I had almost no free time in college. The point is that I have all the time in the world now and I just simply don't apply any of it to anything.
Yeah, this is a proxy for another project, but that one is finally moving as well, though more slowly than I'd like.
- Jim
UNM professor: Obese need not apply for PhD
A University of New Mexico professor is under fire for tweeting that obese people do not have what it takes to earn a PhD.
Dr. Geoffrey Miller is an assistant professor of psychology at UNM. He posted the following comment on his Twitter account: “Dear obese PhD applicants: If you didn’t have the willpower to stop eating carbs, you won’t have the willpower to do a dissertation.”
The tweet sparked loads of reaction on the professor’s Twitter account. Several people have also contacted the university.
Psychology department Chairwoman Professor Jane Ellen Smith was shocked when she heard what he’d written.
“The idea that the psychology department here at the UNM or any department at UNM would be discriminating against people because of their size or shape It's just outlandish,” Smith said. “It’s nothing we would ever do.”
Miller has now posted an apology on his account, and said the tweet does not reflect his PhD selection process.
Smith said Miller told her the tweet was part of a research project. Miller, who was already on unpaid leave and working at New York University when he posted the tweet, told UNM officials he’s been sending provocative tweets for months and is measuring reaction to them. UNM is investigating that claim.
Action 7 News reached out to Miller via email for his reaction to the story and to learn more about the reported research project, but he did not return our request for comment.
Dr. Geoffrey Miller is an assistant professor of psychology at UNM. He posted the following comment on his Twitter account: “Dear obese PhD applicants: If you didn’t have the willpower to stop eating carbs, you won’t have the willpower to do a dissertation.”
The tweet sparked loads of reaction on the professor’s Twitter account. Several people have also contacted the university.
Psychology department Chairwoman Professor Jane Ellen Smith was shocked when she heard what he’d written.
“The idea that the psychology department here at the UNM or any department at UNM would be discriminating against people because of their size or shape It's just outlandish,” Smith said. “It’s nothing we would ever do.”
Miller has now posted an apology on his account, and said the tweet does not reflect his PhD selection process.
Smith said Miller told her the tweet was part of a research project. Miller, who was already on unpaid leave and working at New York University when he posted the tweet, told UNM officials he’s been sending provocative tweets for months and is measuring reaction to them. UNM is investigating that claim.
Action 7 News reached out to Miller via email for his reaction to the story and to learn more about the reported research project, but he did not return our request for comment.
Anyway, that got me to thinking about the time I'm wasting even now. It's no secret I've been behind schedule for everything I'm working on now. And so, I've been working to catch up on things. Not kinda working, not sorta working, but trying to spend every moment I have toward that goal. None of these projects are Earth-shattering, and that's the problem - I've treated them that way for years and failed to spend the time on them that I should have.
And yeah, a large portion of this is about that pile of unread magazines. It just bugs the hell out of me. But at the same time, I was at the point where I realized it was unlikely that I would be able to catch up on all of them by the end of the summer. It was an optimistic goal (considering my history) when I started, but it soon became clear that it would be impossible.
I'm not going to blame all of this on that article, but the article did its share of making me think about these things. And so, for me, I've been working at hyperspeed, getting these things done - without changing the rules I've made for myself. I can't skip articles - I have to read the magazines cover to cover. I have to actually read them, which means comprehension. I may not remember every name (I won't; I'm horrible with names), but I will understand what and why and how. Or as much as the article allows me to do so.
Magazines aren't my only project, but I'm working harder on that one than others at the moment. Sadly, after the larger-than-normal effort of the past couple weeks, there are still 58 magazines to go.
One more thing - I am a hoarder. I still have unread magazines older than that from when I was in college or when I was working full time. While deep down, those bug me as well, they don't bug me nearly as much. I had other things to do that took up a huge percentage of my waking hours. Indeed, I had almost no free time in college. The point is that I have all the time in the world now and I just simply don't apply any of it to anything.
Yeah, this is a proxy for another project, but that one is finally moving as well, though more slowly than I'd like.
- Jim
Saturday, June 08, 2013
This is turning into a monthly thing. I don't watch television as much as most people. I have my computer, I have my hobbies. Television isn't interactive enough, I guess. Too much idle time and I end up feeling guilty about not doing something else.
Anyway, my eyes are always bigger than my proverbial stomach. I record stuff that I'm interested in, but I never seem to have time to watch it all. The DVR gets full and I have to watch it or stuff gets deleted. I'm not one of those guys who can sit and watch tv all day. I'm still burned out from watching two seasons of Game of Thrones a couple months ago. Let's not talk about how many episodes I'm behind in that.
So, for the next few days, I'll be all about the DVR, trying to get to it to stop screaming in pain every time I change channels. Then I'll be burned out on it again and go back to reading and writing.
- Jim
Anyway, my eyes are always bigger than my proverbial stomach. I record stuff that I'm interested in, but I never seem to have time to watch it all. The DVR gets full and I have to watch it or stuff gets deleted. I'm not one of those guys who can sit and watch tv all day. I'm still burned out from watching two seasons of Game of Thrones a couple months ago. Let's not talk about how many episodes I'm behind in that.
So, for the next few days, I'll be all about the DVR, trying to get to it to stop screaming in pain every time I change channels. Then I'll be burned out on it again and go back to reading and writing.
- Jim
Monday, June 03, 2013
This is all old news, but permit me to indulge myself in my past for a moment. It's not a pretty picture, but it needs to be said.
After the oft-mentioned "Month of Hell" in May of 2006, there was a year where things went mostly downhill. It took a long time for the factory I worked for to admit that I was injured and meanwhile they forced me to work around it. Not quite through the injury, but close enough that the injury got worse. The surgeon who eventually saw me was surprised the damage was as bad as it was even after she got the x-rays and MRI results. Meanwhile, as I was in both the fog of pain and painkillers, my Mom was steadily getting worse. I tried several times to pick myself up during that year, but reality was what it was. It just wasn't time.
Shortly after my Mom died in 2007, I lost my job. The factory I worked for was tired of the injury and found an opening they could exploit for all it was worth. At the height of the recession, no one wanted to take a chance on a guy learning new skills. I was cocky about the whole thing too - I may not have had a lot of experience, but I could do everything I applied for and figured it'd be pretty easy to get a job. I spent more than a year being cocky, never doing more than play video games because I figured I'd go back to work any day.
Well, as you know, that day never came. Still, between the Month of Hell, the following year, and then the stagnation of the year after that, I let a lot of things slide. The few years since have been a mishmash of periods where I tried to catch up with life followed by periods when I shut life off. The pile of to-do stuff was just too big to handle and I eventually would just quit and play video games or something.
I'd like to say now is different, and it both is, and isn't. On the one hand, this is probably the longest sustained effort I've made to "catch up". I'll be honest here, depending on how you look at it, it's impossible. I could live forever and always find stuff to do. And therefore, my reading list will always be several years long. My video game list will be similar. But there are other projects that just bug me because they shouldn't be as behind as they are. Magazines, for example. Writing. At this point it's probably safe to say that I could live forever and never run out of writing ideas. But at this point it's just as likely, given my track record, of never finishing any of them anyway. Life too often gets in the way and I lose the train of thoughts rushing toward a literary conclusion.
And so here I am. The most I can say is that I'm trying harder. I hope I succeed. I don't think I've given any hope of doing so, but this has been the best effort I've put forth on it all. Don't expect me to be done with anything by tomorrow, but the last couple months have seen progress.
There is one more point I want to make - progress is a double-edged sword. I am notorious for underestimating the time and effort needed to complete a project. It doesn't matter what it is - writing a book, making an RPG adventure, reading a magazine, or doing a virus scan on my computer. It simply does not matter. Oh, I can put a hard drive in a computer, but it'll take twice as long as I thought it would. In that particular case, it was because I cleaned the computer case, moved some wires, and had to hunt down my regular screwdrivers because my power driver was dead. Damn thing.
Anyway, there you go. I'm still mostly working on the pile of magazines that keep calling me. I am working on other projects, but the magazines are where I spend the bulk of my current time.
- Jim
After the oft-mentioned "Month of Hell" in May of 2006, there was a year where things went mostly downhill. It took a long time for the factory I worked for to admit that I was injured and meanwhile they forced me to work around it. Not quite through the injury, but close enough that the injury got worse. The surgeon who eventually saw me was surprised the damage was as bad as it was even after she got the x-rays and MRI results. Meanwhile, as I was in both the fog of pain and painkillers, my Mom was steadily getting worse. I tried several times to pick myself up during that year, but reality was what it was. It just wasn't time.
Shortly after my Mom died in 2007, I lost my job. The factory I worked for was tired of the injury and found an opening they could exploit for all it was worth. At the height of the recession, no one wanted to take a chance on a guy learning new skills. I was cocky about the whole thing too - I may not have had a lot of experience, but I could do everything I applied for and figured it'd be pretty easy to get a job. I spent more than a year being cocky, never doing more than play video games because I figured I'd go back to work any day.
Well, as you know, that day never came. Still, between the Month of Hell, the following year, and then the stagnation of the year after that, I let a lot of things slide. The few years since have been a mishmash of periods where I tried to catch up with life followed by periods when I shut life off. The pile of to-do stuff was just too big to handle and I eventually would just quit and play video games or something.
I'd like to say now is different, and it both is, and isn't. On the one hand, this is probably the longest sustained effort I've made to "catch up". I'll be honest here, depending on how you look at it, it's impossible. I could live forever and always find stuff to do. And therefore, my reading list will always be several years long. My video game list will be similar. But there are other projects that just bug me because they shouldn't be as behind as they are. Magazines, for example. Writing. At this point it's probably safe to say that I could live forever and never run out of writing ideas. But at this point it's just as likely, given my track record, of never finishing any of them anyway. Life too often gets in the way and I lose the train of thoughts rushing toward a literary conclusion.
And so here I am. The most I can say is that I'm trying harder. I hope I succeed. I don't think I've given any hope of doing so, but this has been the best effort I've put forth on it all. Don't expect me to be done with anything by tomorrow, but the last couple months have seen progress.
There is one more point I want to make - progress is a double-edged sword. I am notorious for underestimating the time and effort needed to complete a project. It doesn't matter what it is - writing a book, making an RPG adventure, reading a magazine, or doing a virus scan on my computer. It simply does not matter. Oh, I can put a hard drive in a computer, but it'll take twice as long as I thought it would. In that particular case, it was because I cleaned the computer case, moved some wires, and had to hunt down my regular screwdrivers because my power driver was dead. Damn thing.
Anyway, there you go. I'm still mostly working on the pile of magazines that keep calling me. I am working on other projects, but the magazines are where I spend the bulk of my current time.
- Jim
Monday, May 27, 2013
This is kinda pathetic, I'm sure. But, it's a big thing to me.
Nearly a hundred years ago, or actually... 12? I started playing StarCraft. That's not quite true, but it's close enough. I had it for a while, tried to play it, but couldn't find the time to invest in it to become interested in it. In short, it wasn't until I got to college that I was into StarCraft.
Over the years, college interfered, girlfriends, moving, deaths, the year of hell, etc. I stopped for a long time after my brother died, merely because I was playing the game while he was dying, though I didn't know it at the time. I felt pretty guilty about it.
Since I started writing my yearly resolutions/to do lists, StarCraft and StarCraft: Broodwar have been on it. Some of the time I "wasted" playing my own versions of my own games, some of the time I just spent making my own missions. So, while it's been a long time, it hasn't been a very concerted effort. Still, I finally finished it. I'm pretty psyched.
Actually, over the past couple weeks, I've made a sustained effort and it's paid off. I've gotten better to the point that the end mission was long, but wasn't as difficult as it had always otherwise been.
Anyway, I'm pretty proud. So, I thought I would share.
- Jim
Nearly a hundred years ago, or actually... 12? I started playing StarCraft. That's not quite true, but it's close enough. I had it for a while, tried to play it, but couldn't find the time to invest in it to become interested in it. In short, it wasn't until I got to college that I was into StarCraft.
Over the years, college interfered, girlfriends, moving, deaths, the year of hell, etc. I stopped for a long time after my brother died, merely because I was playing the game while he was dying, though I didn't know it at the time. I felt pretty guilty about it.
Since I started writing my yearly resolutions/to do lists, StarCraft and StarCraft: Broodwar have been on it. Some of the time I "wasted" playing my own versions of my own games, some of the time I just spent making my own missions. So, while it's been a long time, it hasn't been a very concerted effort. Still, I finally finished it. I'm pretty psyched.
Actually, over the past couple weeks, I've made a sustained effort and it's paid off. I've gotten better to the point that the end mission was long, but wasn't as difficult as it had always otherwise been.
Anyway, I'm pretty proud. So, I thought I would share.
- Jim
Call what I do what you will, but I get absorbed into it. Every now and then I look around and notice the world has changed around me. The internet comes on computers now? Will wonders never cease?
So, it is with sadness, but probably little surprise that I find that West End Games, formerly the maker of Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game is liquidating. Not just scaling back or losing some titles because some asshat decided their crappy new Jar-Jar filled movies justified raising the price of a licensing deal, but really liquidating.
I'm not saying it was a perfect system. Where Rolemaster by Iron Crown Enterprises (ICE) was really too much, WEG was too damned simple for my tastes. But still, I'm not a fan of Wizards of the Coast's lame attempts at controlling the entire RPG sector. Thanks for ruining the world WotC.
Yeah, I know WEG's demise started back in the 90's of the last century. I didn't figure they'd last long without Star Wars and indeed, they surprised me by lasting as long as they did. I also know that this liquidation is old news. Sue me. Please refer to the first paragraph.
As much as I post those Dice pictures, I'm not a gamer any more. Not really. I pull the books and binders out every now and then and scrape the dust off, but little more than that. I've purchased... what, one RPG book in the last year? Two? I'm not going to look. It would just make me more depressed.
Ah well. I still have my memories.
- Jim
So, it is with sadness, but probably little surprise that I find that West End Games, formerly the maker of Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game is liquidating. Not just scaling back or losing some titles because some asshat decided their crappy new Jar-Jar filled movies justified raising the price of a licensing deal, but really liquidating.
I'm not saying it was a perfect system. Where Rolemaster by Iron Crown Enterprises (ICE) was really too much, WEG was too damned simple for my tastes. But still, I'm not a fan of Wizards of the Coast's lame attempts at controlling the entire RPG sector. Thanks for ruining the world WotC.
Yeah, I know WEG's demise started back in the 90's of the last century. I didn't figure they'd last long without Star Wars and indeed, they surprised me by lasting as long as they did. I also know that this liquidation is old news. Sue me. Please refer to the first paragraph.
As much as I post those Dice pictures, I'm not a gamer any more. Not really. I pull the books and binders out every now and then and scrape the dust off, but little more than that. I've purchased... what, one RPG book in the last year? Two? I'm not going to look. It would just make me more depressed.
Ah well. I still have my memories.
- Jim
Monday, May 20, 2013
These aren't priorities for me right now which is why they're taking so long to read. At the same time, these MERP books are among the smallest projects I'm working on. Here's the one I just started today:
In addition, I got a new camera and have been somewhat haphazardly taking pictures of various things.
I thought that picture was appropriate for the moment.
- Jim
In addition, I got a new camera and have been somewhat haphazardly taking pictures of various things.
I thought that picture was appropriate for the moment.
- Jim
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
I dislike using the word anniversary to describe it. It's been six years since my Mom died. Six years to the day. I won't say that broke me - I think I broke before that, but it certainly didn't help. I suppose I feel lucky in a way. I had injured myself nearly a year previously and was on painkillers for the aftermath of my Mom's death. It didn't make things easier, really, but it bought me some time.
That's all we all have, I suppose. It's something I sometimes have plenty of.
- Jim
That's all we all have, I suppose. It's something I sometimes have plenty of.
- Jim
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
May is a tough month for me. The fifth was the uh... anniversary of my Brother's death in 2006. The fifteenth will be the anniversary of my Mother's death in 2007. It's not so long really, but it's an awful long time to be broken.
Now, I know in the past, I've promised that things would change. It wasn't a lie exactly so much as a promise I couldn't keep. Even now, it's not like I'm going to flip a switch and be over it. The past six (or seven) years have paid some of that cost, but they've also exacted their own toll.
But the recent past, being all recent and all, has spurred some changes. Positive ones, I think, though self-diagnosis is problematic at best. It is what it is. I promise to try as much as I can. It's the most I can offer.
- Jim
Now, I know in the past, I've promised that things would change. It wasn't a lie exactly so much as a promise I couldn't keep. Even now, it's not like I'm going to flip a switch and be over it. The past six (or seven) years have paid some of that cost, but they've also exacted their own toll.
But the recent past, being all recent and all, has spurred some changes. Positive ones, I think, though self-diagnosis is problematic at best. It is what it is. I promise to try as much as I can. It's the most I can offer.
- Jim
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