So what did the last post mean?  Well, over the past couple months, I've turned down more than one opportunity in more than one area.  On the surface, these opportunities might have been pretty good deals.  Unfortunately, the reality is that I would not have been able to make the best of any of them and worst is something that I can all too easily contemplate.  The problem is that in each of these opportunities, there would be a cost to failure and those costs would not have been borne entirely by me.

So, it seems clear that I need to move on.  Well, yeah.  And insane people need to be normal and homeless people need to get homes.  It's easier said than done.  I've noticed that people with the simplest solutions for other people's problems are often the ones with the most messed up lives themselves.  "Well, it's different for me, Jim.", is something I've heard far too many times.  If your advice is so easy for me to follow, then perhaps you should prove it by following it yourself.

But this isn't an attack on others either.  In my own glacially slow way, I am moving through these issues.  It's just a more complicated and painful process than I could have ever imagined.   I admit that I try to ignore it from time to time, but it's always there, below the surface, always bubbling up. 

- Jim